Some people, I notice, have an amazing way to strike up conversations. They are good at comparing one person with another they know and saying that out loud.
Like we see in most families, the classic example of success is that cousin who excelled in almost everything. Parents probably see this as a motivating aspect as their child could be better by the magnetism. As always, we are asked to keep away from the bad cousins and friends, the ones who are said to be good for nothing. This forms an image in the child’s head about what he is expected to become like. The child hates being with others better than him, and starts scorning at people who compare. This continues to turn into hostility, anger, frustration and even the search for opportunities to prove oneself better and get others down.
Comparison can take place over any issue, irrespective of its significance. For example, some research suggests tall people as more successful than the short ones, but we never question the background of the research work. Instead, children are asked to be as tall as the guy on TV, and forced to hang off some jungle-gym substitutes. Almost the same with girls, labelled as ‘fat’ if their body structures do not match with the VJ or the actor in vogue. This way, we learn to live superficial lives. Not only do we start losing our real selves, but begin becoming something we are not. We choose to ignore our conscience but fulfil others’ suppositions.
While we try to please others all the time, be it for a college interview or a personal statement, we never for once think if our ‘real’ self is better than what we are trying to become. The mindset of being compared with hundreds of other applicants puts us in this situation. Similar circumstances let our thinking ability drift away, for we, a gullible bunch of people, for an instant, try to put our hypocritical self forward and gratify those in power. Simultaneously, we forget what we are and let go of all the thoughts we have held for a very long time.
I personally feel that we should stop seeing ourselves like others would want us to. Instead, we should make others realise how fine and worthy we are without them having to comment on us. If people compare us for our outward looks, and cannot go past skin deep, that is seriously their disability. So we must realise our true individualism and stop worrying about what the others have to say. It is our self interest in being fashionable or carrying expensive phones.. We do things not because we want others to praise us, but because we want to. Just being too dark or too fat does not make somebody worse than a fair and pretty anti-social lassie. Because in the end, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.