She Started, No He Started


May 7, 2012, 5:45 p.m. Published in Magazine Issue: Vol.: 05 No.-20 May 04 -2012 (Baisakh 22,2068)<br>

I was working on my assignment when my brother asked me to help him with something. Knowing that helping him is equivalent to ending up doing the entire work on my own, I asked him to come to me later. I guess he figured out later was never, so he deleted my hard work and saved the blank page. Now I was back to square one, and honestly could do nothing but cry.

At first, I thought his intention of doing so was to get back at me for not helping him. In reality, his mind had a better plot. When my parents got home, the first thing he did was complain to them that I didn’t help him even while I was sitting idle. And because I had no backup to prove my innocence I had been a victim of his wicked plans, even if it had been for a short time. Both his temper and mine made the situation worse than it already was and after some time everything got back to normal. If this is what people call ‘sibling rivalry’, this isn’t a very good thing to happen to anybody even with the happy ending.

Rivalry among siblings is a very common situation in many families. In most cases, it starts with the birth of the second child.  When all attention starts diverting from the only child to the second, jealousy springs in. This gives way to acts meant to hurt the other and possibly homicidal ideas as well. There also exist reasons like the elder ones always being asked to compromise, because they become big and mature right from the day when their baby sibling, who never grows up, is born. Or alternatively, also because family members don’t understand the differences. They constantly bring up issues to compare each other. In the long run such factors deteriorate the situation.

If not immediately after the birth of a sibling, it does start at a very young age, mine included. However, lesser the age difference, tougher the competition. In kids’ run to prove self better than the other, have the last piece of the cake and get the other one to fetch the ball from the rude neighbor’s garden, things do get complicated. The young undeveloped mind starts to find ways about being the better one in front of everybody. Notwithstanding how this competition could take a better turn and get everybody to be equally fine and polished, this isn’t a ‘more often than not’ case. In most cases this ends up in a bitter relationship throughout childhood and youth and follows later in life (afterlife as of horror movies). To mention, this is one reason among some others why children like school better than home and friends better than siblings.

I wouldn’t say rivalry doesn’t exist among friends. Considering closely, how much long is a rival-for-a-friend to stay in our lives? Siblings are the first friends we make in life and probably the only ones who’ll stick up for a very long time. And most of the times rivalry accompanies the bonding. Taking into account a few examples, sisters are competitive among each other to look the best and be the most mannered and elegant while brothers fight to show their strength. And about brothers and sisters, I can safely conclude it is about everything in the world.

Most parents must be sick and tired of trying to put up with the never ending fight or put it off. The most natural way of dealing it, as I see it, must be letting the ones who started end it. Every time an elder tries to monitor and solve the issues the matter gets worse. They could get the blame for playing favorites or for trying to impose what they feel is right. A child’s vision is very much different from the pragmatism of a grown up. And to encourage the self defending and matter solving capabilities of the young, they should be allowed to handle it themselves, unless it starts getting harmful physically, psychologically and otherwise.



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